Шедевры перевода

If, while traveling, you come across more of the similar treasures, please send them to us - they deserve a special place. :)

 From a Russian airline safety brochure

"Airlines staff can ask you for something concerning smoking and we beg you to follow its advices and recommendations. If you possess strong will and are able to decline smoking during the flight, non-smoking passengers and the crew will appreciate your generosity and respect for them."

From the same brochure

"Any failure to keep an order and infringement of on-board regulations may cause unpredictable consequences.

Crew's action to suppress the possible incident will be urgent and drastic up to fulfilment of the expensive forced landing. Besides the juridical consequences infringer will be obliged to pay an impressive fine to compensate the waste."

 And again... that Russian airline brochure is an all-time classic

"Smoking is not permitted only on the special seats which are marked in the travellers' cheques after the indicator board 'No Smoking' is out."

"The usage of the following devices is prohibited: -

  • portable telephones
  • radio sets
  • camcorders
  • computers with television screens
  • remote control toys
  • compact disk audio reproduction devices."
 In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across an Orthodox monastery:

"You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursdays."

In an Acapulco hotel:

"The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

A sign in a convenience store window:

"If you write bad checks, we will prostitute"

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

"It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose."

In a Yugoslavian hotel:

"The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."

 Outside a Paris dress shop:

"Dresses for street walking.”

 In a Tokyo bar:

"Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."

 In a Bucharest hotel lobby:

"The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."

 In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

"Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."

 On the menu of a Polish hotel: "Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion"

 In a Bangkok dry cleaners:

"Drop your trousers here for best results."

 Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:

"Ladies may have a fit upstairs."